Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Where are the Men?!

Allow me a moment to vent. (No, I'm not looking for a new one or anything.)

I've actually been writing this post in my mind for a couple months now and have never gotten around to it... until now. The majority of my 20's were spent being stumped by the question stated in the title of this post. Year after year I watched my friends falling in love, and being married off. I was, as the saying goes, "always the bridesmaid, never the bride". You could bet I was standing up in those weddings thinking, "there goes another one... one of the last good ones out there". The odds were definitely not in my favor. Sure, there were plenty of "good" single guys out there. But finding one with strong Christian beliefs and goals in life that were parallelled mine... seemed next to impossible.

And that brings me to the reason for this post. I am, and forever will be tremendously grateful that God led me to Eric, and fulfilled my deep desire to be married. But there was a significant sense of guilt that accompanied such an amazing blessing. I left "The Club". It is a club that most of us single 20-somethings never wanted to be a part of in the first place... but nevertheless, we were bonded through camaraderie. There was comfort in numbers... and at the same time unspoken fear of the moment the next one of us would "betray" the group... and join the a new club. The one where everyone was married.

I remember vividly the pain and loneliness that is felt by single Christian women who truly want little else in life but to be loved by another human being... and be asked for their hand in marriage. I couldn't understand why it was so difficult to find the men who were ready to dedicate their lives to family, and who had a genuine love for Christ. The reality is, non-Christians have us significantly out-numbered. But still... I KNOW they are out there SOMEWHERE!! I was floored to find a guy like Eric... a Christian, accomplished, good-looking, AND somehow - still single/not even divorced!! It gave me hope... but of course that's easy for me to say... now.

Although I have "betrayed" the club... I am blessed to say that those friendships have remained strong. There are a handful of girlfriends of mine... who are praying and searching every day. They are amazing and beautiful women of God who want so badly to give their heart to a man... and they are trying so hard to be patient and trust. I seriously wonder what is wrong with the men out there who aren't jumping at the opportunity to get to know them.

Not that I'm trying to play match-maker... (although I wouldn't hesitate if eligible bachelors showed up at my door)... but I just had to "think out loud" a little bit (as my mom says I like to do). I just wondered if maybe someone out there might have some idea as to where these guys are. I believe that God is faithful to give us all the desires of our hearts, but I also know from experience He rarely accomplishes that in OUR timing. Try having that patience when your approaching 30 and your biological clock is ticking! :) I personally attest to the fact that the wait is worth it... but that waiting process can sure be miserable.

The one thing that I have been so inspired and proud of... is that no matter how desperate and lonely they have felt... they have refused to settle. When opportunities for "second best" have presented themselves... my friends have chosen to remain strong in themselves... and wait. I couldn't be more honored to know women like these.

This is my friend Carrie... my greatest inspiration for this post. She has been an incredible blessing in my life for so many reasons, and she has been genuinely happy for me when I know it must have been difficult. Few things would make me happier than to see her find the man that we have prayed for for so long. I feel the same about my sister, Melissa, my new friend Becky, and all the other girls I'm forgetting to mention right now. Seriously. Where are the MEN?!

Feel free to let me know if anyone out there knows of any really wonderful eligible men! I'm on a mission. Although I'm still confident in God's perfect timing. (We'd just all be really happy if that timing could maybe be like next week or something???... Pretty Please!)

15 comments:

melissa said...

I completely appreciate this post. I have often wondered this in the past few years. I often think that the "good ones" don't really exist, that they're mythical creatures like the easter bunny, unicorns, and Santa Claus. And for some reason, hearing married friends say, "Oh you'll find the right one when the time is right," is never very comforting.

Heather McTaggart said...

I ran across your blog a long time ago when I was searching for something, since then I check it once in a while. It's great to have other Christian women out there to watch grow under God's care! So, first of all let me state...what an amazing post! I am a happily married christian mother of 3, I work at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA. I do know some amazing men who are seeking the same as your blog states and so it's great to read your heart for the female christian woman. My husband and I host a weekly "fellowship" dinner for the 25-35 age group and this is a hot topic of conversation. Yes, I know plenty of amazing men who want a healthy christian woman to begin their next journey in life with, God just seems to have them placed in different time zones! You go girl, pray your heart out for their cause. BTW...CONGRADULATIONS on your pregnancy! May ALL go well! BLESSINGS!

Meghan said...

Heather,

Thanks so much for your comment! It's always fun to see who's been lurking that you don't know!

Here's the thing... Carrie lives in Reno, Nevada!! 9 miles from the California border!!!

:)

If you have any prospects... just let me know!!! :) :)

jackie carl said...

I have a son, age 24 and a nephew, age, 31. They are both single, Christian, looking for a strong Christian girl w/ strong values and morals. I, the Mom & Aunt, am even looking for them ! (and for me). Ha ! I want to see them happy & no longer lonely. They are both very good-looking, I might add. :-)
There is nothing wrong w/ either of them. They are great men. They both have incredible senses of humor. They just know what they want and they too, don't want to just "settle".
One is an Assistant Golf Pro at a local Country Club, the other is a Teacher/Girls' Varsity Basketball coach at a county school.
Unfortunately, they don't live close to Reno.
One is in Marion, IN; the other in Upland, IN.
But, this is just to say that there are those men out there. If you were to ask them, they would reverse your question to "where are all the girls" ? :-)

Have a good day. Hope you're feeling well.
Jackie Carl
Marion, IN

Meghan said...

FYI...

Carrie lives in Nevada... Melissa lives in Virginia... and my sister is in Colorado. Name the state... I can find a close contact. And while their standards are high... location is ALWAYS negotiable when love is involved!!!

Eric said...

disclaimer:

MJ matchmakers international is not legally responsible for any emotional or physical harm that one may encounter when using her services

LLC, all rights reserved, etc.....

Carrie said...

Wow, Meg I knew you have been up to something in your head for awhile and now I see it come to pass!
If God uses this post to bring forth the man He is preparing for me or any of the other girls, what a great story to be able to tell family, friends and even our kids one day how it all came together!
God is good and I am blessed to call you my friend and matchmaker! Thanks Meg and I will see you soon!!!!!!
Carrie

Heather McTaggart said...

Well Meghan (you spell your name like my neice, so that makes you cool), you need to bring your friends out to Cali to Saddleback Church for a meet and greet!

Heather McTaggart said...

BTW...my blog is mctagh.blogspot.com. Visit sometime!

The Saunders said...

I have goose bumps! Get to work ladies... get some emails at least:) I thought I had a great single guy out here for Holly yet she never got up the nerve nor would he... I know Carrie and Melissa are much more open minded!

Anonymous said...

I'm working on it Carrie. Matter of fact, I shared this blogsite with a potential bachelor just this week. We'll see what comes of it, but I'm on the hunt for you. Let's get a picture of Melissa and Jen, also. Pictures really help!!!!
Love the disclaimer, Eric.
Greetings and Love to all......

A very happy future Grandma

Jennelyse said...

Amen Sister!

:) Loved your post... so true!

Although- I was informed that Indiana had an influx of eligible christian single men... or was this just a farse??? :D

Lolly said...

Heather,

I have followed your blog for a few months and have enjoyed reading it. Loved your post. We have the opposite problem in our family. I have a great looking, 25 year old college educated professional son who is looking for a good woman. He has just about given up. He goes to the singles groups at church and says he knows why they are single. The other girls he meets have their "church face" on at church and then go straight to the bar. He has been there and done that and is ready to settle down and find a good woman, just like his momma. Maybe you can start a match making service. Do you know any girls in Texas?

Shara said...

Um...AMEN...and AMEN!!! Meg you always know just how to say what everybody is thinking. Congrats on the lil one in your tummy too! I am so happy for you both and as you know have always thought you are the best! Love you girl...hope to maybe see you at Thanksgiving?! -Shara

Anonymous said...

Ok, so where are all the great Godly Christian women? I had this blog sent to me and I feel like all the "good ones" are all taken. I have tried Eharmony several times and the matches always close before communicating. The girls in my church all seem to have guy friends and are fine with that or they already have the guy they are going to marry. I am sick of hearing “the right one is out there for you….all in His time.” My church has that gap where most kids go off to collage or get married and so that 20 something group is very small and doesn’t have many opportunities. Also my ministry at church does give me the chance to interact with the few single ladies at my church. Working in the trades also has very few opportunities to even see or talk to women. All of my friends are married and so is my younger brother: So again I will ask WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN WOMEN??

Matthew...in WI