Allow me a moment to vent. (No, I'm not looking for a new one or anything.)
I've actually been writing this post in my mind for a couple months now and have never gotten around to it... until now. The majority of my 20's were spent being stumped by the question stated in the title of this post. Year after year I watched my friends falling in love, and being married off. I was, as the saying goes, "always the bridesmaid, never the bride". You could bet I was standing up in those weddings thinking, "there goes another one... one of the last good ones out there". The odds were definitely not in my favor. Sure, there were plenty of "good" single guys out there. But finding one with strong Christian beliefs and goals in life that were parallelled mine... seemed next to impossible.
And that brings me to the reason for this post. I am, and forever will be tremendously grateful that God led me to Eric, and fulfilled my deep desire to be married. But there was a significant sense of guilt that accompanied such an amazing blessing. I left "The Club". It is a club that most of us single 20-somethings never wanted to be a part of in the first place... but nevertheless, we were bonded through camaraderie. There was comfort in numbers... and at the same time unspoken fear of the moment the next one of us would "betray" the group... and join the a new club. The one where everyone was married.
I remember vividly the pain and loneliness that is felt by single Christian women who truly want little else in life but to be loved by another human being... and be asked for their hand in marriage. I couldn't understand why it was so difficult to find the men who were ready to dedicate their lives to family, and who had a genuine love for Christ. The reality is, non-Christians have us significantly out-numbered. But still... I KNOW they are out there SOMEWHERE!! I was floored to find a guy like Eric... a Christian, accomplished, good-looking, AND somehow - still single/not even divorced!! It gave me hope... but of course that's easy for me to say... now.
Although I have "betrayed" the club... I am blessed to say that those friendships have remained strong. There are a handful of girlfriends of mine... who are praying and searching every day. They are amazing and beautiful women of God who want so badly to give their heart to a man... and they are trying so hard to be patient and trust. I seriously wonder what is wrong with the men out there who aren't jumping at the opportunity to get to know them.
Not that I'm trying to play match-maker... (although I wouldn't hesitate if eligible bachelors showed up at my door)... but I just had to "think out loud" a little bit (as my mom says I like to do). I just wondered if maybe someone out there might have some idea as to where these guys are. I believe that God is faithful to give us all the desires of our hearts, but I also know from experience He rarely accomplishes that in OUR timing. Try having that patience when your approaching 30 and your biological clock is ticking! :) I personally attest to the fact that the wait is worth it... but that waiting process can sure be miserable.
The one thing that I have been so inspired and proud of... is that no matter how desperate and lonely they have felt... they have refused to settle. When opportunities for "second best" have presented themselves... my friends have chosen to remain strong in themselves... and wait. I couldn't be more honored to know women like these.
This is my friend Carrie... my greatest inspiration for this post. She has been an incredible blessing in my life for so many reasons, and she has been genuinely happy for me when I know it must have been difficult. Few things would make me happier than to see her find the man that we have prayed for for so long. I feel the same about my sister, Melissa, my new friend Becky, and all the other girls I'm forgetting to mention right now. Seriously. Where are the MEN?!
Feel free to let me know if anyone out there knows of any really wonderful eligible men! I'm on a mission. Although I'm still confident in God's perfect timing. (We'd just all be really happy if that timing could maybe be like next week or something???... Pretty Please!)