Carry You

Hopefully they don't mind me posting this... but Angie Smith just put this up on her blog so others can access it from YouTube. This is a song written by her, along with her husband and another friend, that will be coming out on Selah's next album. It was set to a slideshow in honor of Baby Audrey. I know some of you have been through similar situations, and many others have been following their story. Just think of how many people this song will reach... many who need it now... many who will need it someday to come.
If it plays choppy, give it some time to buffer and then try again.

I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One whose chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One whose chosen Me
To carry you

Vacation Week

So... my maternity leave officially started this past Sunday!! While I was hoping that Ella might decide to show herself just a little bit early, I can honestly say I am thoroughly enjoying a week of "vacation" to get life a little more organized and rest up before the sleepless nights begin. As of last week, I was dilated to 3cm and 50% effaced... which for those of you who don't speak "labor and deliverese", basically means my body is definitely moving in the right direction, and at a good pace - particularly for a first pregnancy. The plan is I will be induced next Wednesday, the 30th, if something doesn't happen sooner. We're really happy about this, because Eric begins his clerkships for Pharmacy the following Monday, and I was so worried that delivering late would mean he would hardly be able to be around for the first few days of Ella's life. At least this way - we'll have a few days all together.

While I'm anxious to pop this kid out and hopefully breast feed the fat away, I'm really thankful for this time of preparation. The nesting is in full swing and I'm even squeezing in some bonding with friends. A couple days ago I had lunch with my friend Betsy, her little baby Noura (who is a former NICU patient of mine), and my new friend Bridget - who also happens to be my Obstetrician! She brought her little boy Ethan, who was born the same day as Noura. I stole the pictures below from Betsy's blog...

Betsy, Me, Noura, Ethan, & Bridget

( I'm really trying to pretend I'm not as huge as this picture makes me look...)

Noura and Ethan

As for the rest of my time... I've somehow found the motivation to seriously clean parts of the house that I hate to admit - typically go untouched. Here's a sneak peek of my handiwork!

(Before)

(After)

Pretty impressive, huh? I've got more... but the pictures aren't uploaded so you'll have to wait. I see Bridget tomorrow and I'm hoping when she checks me in the office she might "accidentally" break my water... :) Check back to see what happens!

Where Do I Live Again?

5:28am this morning.

(Kim... if you're reading this... I hope you don't mind that I stole this hilarious excerpt from your blog.) To give credit where credit is due... I have to let you all know that I first found this on Kim's blog, and since I know most of you don't know her (although I do now have a link to her on the right), I had to share it!

________________
This comes from a local news station website. Once again, I find myself in awe of the fact that I live here:

bubba, indanapolis, indiana

"I done thoht my trailer was breaking up. The dogs was barking and I saw a bird act werd the other day. Animals know. My limited edision bust of Elvis done near broke from on top of the frig."
________________

*sigh*

And here's my story:
There I was in bed... with my husband snoring peacefully beside me. I was enjoying a crazy and senseless pregnancy dream that somehow involved an ax, my old college dorm room, and orange juice.

Suddenly... the images faded as I woke up rocking in my bed, and feeling our entire house swaying from side to side.

Um... excuse me? I thought I left the wild and shaky west coast for the boring flat plains of Indiana. Tornadoes... NOT earthquakes. That's what we have here, right?

Max was already hiding under the bed... who knows how long he had been down there feeling the ground prepare to shake. Last earthquake I experienced in Reno was a mere 4.4... and poor Max was tossing his cookies seconds before the thing could be felt by us humans.

I sat up (OK... I ROLLED up - this kid is getting big), not sure if Eric had felt it or not.

ME: "What was that?"
ERIC: "What?"
ME: "Did you feel that?"
ERIC: "Yeah... probably an earthquake I guess."

That's my husband for you. Highly emotional. Very excitable. Always one who finds it hard to remain calm and rational in precarious situations.

"Probably an earthquake I guess?????"

To which I responded in almost as calm a fashion... "an EARTHQUAKE?! We don't have earthquakes in INDIANA!"

"Sure we do. We're on a fault. There was one back in '82. I remember when it happened...."

At this point I really needed someone to share the drama of the experience with me, rather than attempt to convince me that this historical and highly unusual event was something we all woke up expecting to happen... someone who at least might share in the wonder that the end times were indeed upon us, the Lord was coming back that afternoon to bring us home and I was being spared the pains of childbirth after all. At the very least we were about to fall through the floor of our house as the entire thing came down around us... so I summoned Max up onto the bed. Eric calmly rolled back over to catch a few more winks apparently... I tried my hardest to do the same, but 30 seconds later I insisted we turn the TV on to see what the heck was going on.

It was all confirmed in the end. What a reality check.

Ya think you're safe. Sure... we have tornadoes, but at least we've made friends with the neighbors who have a basement. Now... we have earthquakes. Perfect. Good thing all of us Midwesterners wisely include that earthquake coverage on our home insurance policies! When I call to have it added, I think I'll tack on some hurricane coverage as well!

Isaiah 26:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You".

Angie posted an amazing letter to baby Audrey who is now in heaven... along with some absolutely beautiful photos of her short life on earth. I hope you have a chance to check them out: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Reading it brought back a flood of memories from my last moments with Ricky on earth. The peace and ironic "joy" also filled our hospital room that day.

Updates Coming

We enjoyed a beautiful weekend in Chicago with my family, and our 3rd and final baby shower! What a party it was! I'll update with pics soon... just wanted to ask you to continue praying for Todd and Angie Smith. Baby Audrey was born this afternoon around 4pm... and passed away around 6:30 this evening. Check their blog for updates... Angie's post yesterday was very special, and I hope you all take the time to read it. I know that a comment would mean the world to them now as well. I remember vividly how much each and every message meant on Ricky's website. Even in the midst of his last breaths, we found ourselves refreshing it constantly looking for any words of comfort... any words to let us know that we were not alone in it all. Please remind them they are not alone... I'll write more soon.

12 Hour Night Shifts & 36 Weeks of Baby

How is the combination you ask? Depends on the minute. One hour ago at 3am - I was whining (I know - hard to imagine coming from me) to a co-worker that I was not going to make it. Now... after a berry burst power smoothie, a handful of skittles, and a wrestling match with a screaming baby in methadone withdrawal... I'm beginning to feel like I could just about go for a double shift! :) OK... that's definitely a lie.

Really... I'm shocked at how good I feel at this point. Aside from the minor pregnancy inconveniences, I'm really moving around and feeling quite well. It's a little discouraging when the belly becomes too big even for your maternity clothes... but the end is in sight and that helps a lot. I'm not having many contractions yet... but I am dilated to 1 1/2 cm which is a good start for a "first-timer". Never mind that many women walk around for weeks at that dilation and still have to be induced. :) We're going to think positively and eat a lot of the eggplant parmesan recipe that is said to induce labor! :)

At the risk of being redundant, and in case some of you have ignored my previous nudgings:

Tricia is right now at 4am in surgery receiving her long awaited and life saving double lung transplant. Click here for updates.

Also... please, please, please take the time to read Angie's latest post... and pray hard for them.

Mistaken Identity

Tonight on Dateline the families of Laura Van Ryn and Whitney Cerak are being featured in a special 2 hour Dateline. These were the girls whose identities were mixed up in the horrible accident here in Indiana involving a semi and van carrying Taylor University students. They are going to be sending an incredible message and testimony to the world about all that transpired for them after the accident... and I really encourage you to watch. I went to school minutes from Taylor and also spent many years at their Youth conferences when I was in high school, so in a small way compared to many, this story hit home for me. This morning on the Today show they spoke volumes in just 10 minutes... glorifying God and showing no anger or resentment of all that happened. To this day, neither family have ever filed a lawsuit. Hope you can catch it!

Baby Showers!

Here's a few shots from the two fabulous baby showers I have had so far! Most recently, my best friend Susie, her mom, and an old friend of mine - Kathy, all showed myself and many of my closest old amigas a really great time! They went all out and I was truly "showered" with adorable baby things, wisdom, and yummy food!

A photo op with Susie... shot from the "skinniest" angle possible! :)

How adorable is that?! A long distance present sent from Lake Tahoe... Thanks Vicki! It's a welcome variation from the ever popular "pink"!

My "Surprise Guest" at the shower! Deanna showed up all the way from Iowa! I haven't seen her since her husband Marty married Eric and I a year and a half ago... and it was SO great to have her there! (I love you Deanna (and yes, I know you're reading this... stalker!))

Creative decorations...

I began babysitting for Kimberly when she was only a few weeks old and she made this adorable cake! We told her she needs to go into business!!

A couple weeks prior to the "friends" shower in Chicago... Eric's family threw us another amazing little party! Eric decided to join us that day since he heard there was good food involved... he even won the diaper bag memorization game... :)
We enjoyed good food (including a chocolate fountain)... and good laughs. Thanks everyone for making it so special!

Not hard to find the kids!!

I never would have managed to get all the gifts open without Mia's help!!

Grandma Joyce and Alyssa ready for a Kodak moment!

How Cute is This?!

So Eric did an incredible job with the chair rail in the baby's room! The paint job, although you really can't see it in the pictures, is also the perfect combination of pink and not-so-pink colors... The room looks amazing - and that's because I wasn't allowed to come near it with a paint brush or a hammer!

So Much to Blog... So Little Time...

OK... I have a million things to share and blog about... a couple baby showers, a trip to Louisville to see my grandparents, an almost completed baby's room, etc. But I have to get the pictures uploaded and that's impossible when I'm forced (yes, forced) to work 12 hour night shift back to back for days on end, all the while being 8 months pregnant and unable to fit into even the largest of scrubs these day. (OK... it's really not that bad but don't tell my husband).

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Anyway... in the meantime I wanted to remind you of something more important. Please continue to pray for the Smith family. Angie Smith is pregnant with their 4th daughter Audrey, who is not expected to live beyond delivery which will be sometime mid April they think. I mentioned their blog awhile ago and I hope some of you have continued to follow her posts. If not, I guarantee you will be blessed and amazed by both hers and her husband's faith. Not to mention she just posted some unbelievably adorable pictures of their new puppy, Sawyer. Please take the time to check in with her every few days or so. She really appreciates the prayer support and encouragement. Click here or on the link to the right for the Smith family... thanks so much... on behalf of Angie.